


Trust Deficit

by angelsandbrowncoats



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Arguing, Canon Compliant, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Pining, Spoilers for 5x05, brief mention of suicidal ideation, i guess, i'm also focusing on parts of the last episode, not as much as usual though, takes place immediately after 5x05, that seem to be getting overlooked, this is kind of my take on their current standing with each other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 10:41:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,482
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17641232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelsandbrowncoats/pseuds/angelsandbrowncoats
Summary: When Oswald's men find puppet!Ed wandering through his territory on a mission to kill Jim Gordon, they bring him back to Oswald's headquarters. When Edward wakes up there, he has a few more questions for Oswald.





	Trust Deficit

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to my friend for doing a little editing on this (and giving me a few ideas)!
> 
> Basically, while I enjoyed watching Ed & Oswald interact in this last episode, I don't think I took away the same things as most of the fandom (at least, based on what I've seen on tumblr). This is a fic version of what _I_ took away from the episode, as well as a way for me to try and understand where both characters are at regarding their relationship in S5.

Edward stirred with a groan. His legs, his arms, his head, his  _ everything _ hurt. A lot. At least whatever he was sleeping on seemed comfortable enough. 

 

“Ah, you’re awake. How are you feeling?”

 

Edward winced. He would recognize that voice anywhere, but it was  _ not _ the voice he wanted to hear right now. Or maybe it was. He wasn’t sure yet.

 

“Oswald? What’s going on? How did I get here?” He slowly sat up, looking around the lavishly furnished room, “And where is here?”

 

“You and your questions,” Oswald said fondly, “You’re in City Hall, my stronghold. My men picked you up at the edge of my territory. Apparently you were trying to walk straight back to the GCPD where all the refugees think you’re responsible for the deaths of their loved ones,” he laughed as if it were some private joke between them, “I figured you’d appreciate it if I brought you back here until the real you woke up.”

 

“Thank you, I do,” Edward replied, but his voice was guarded. He supposed now was as good a time as any to get some information from Oswald, although he was a little worried about retaliation. But then again, he had solved his mystery. He was just a broken puppet to some fucked up government scheme by night, and a disaster with nothing – no money, no motivation, no safehouse, no friends – by day. What did he have to live for, now?

 

“I’m glad you’re okay,” Oswald told him, “When you vanished, I was so worried about you. I knew Strange would try and do something just  _ terrible  _ to you.”

 

“You were worried about me?” Edward asked, eyes wide. He wasn’t sure how much of it was acting, and how much of it was his traitor heart still wanting to believe Oswald cared.

 

“More than you can imagine.”

 

“Oh,” Edward blinked, “Okay.”

 

“Okay?”

 

“Yeah,” he nodded, sitting on the edge of the bed, “Is that why you sent Jim after me?”

 

Oswald choked on air for a second before catching himself, expression concerned, “I – what?”

 

“You were the only one I discussed Strange with. Who else could have told him where I was?”

 

“I,” Oswald swallowed, “Please don’t misinterpret this, Ed. You know how I calculate my decisions.”

 

“Yeah?”

 

“I decided it was the best possible option. I knew Strange would find someway to hurt you, and I knew you’d be able to get away from Jim with more ease than Strange. Besides, if  _ I _ was free, I would be able to help you.”

 

“Of course,” Edward nodded, “That makes sense. You always were a brilliant strategist.”

 

“Thank you,” Oswald looked taken aback at the compliment, although he was more than pleased.

  
“One of the only people I enjoy playing chess with,” Edward added, fingers playing with the edge of the bedspread, “We always were good friends.”

 

“Ed?”

 

“Hmm?” Edward glanced up at him, “Oh, sorry. Just reminiscing about the good old days. You know how it is.”

 

“I do,” Oswald told him, “So do you forgive me for giving you up?”

 

“Yes,” Edward answered, “I believe you. You calculated the best option.”

 

“If I had wanted to give you up to save myself, I would’ve done it much earlier,” Oswald added, “They tried to torture your location out of me, but I made sure to wait until the opportune moment, for both our sakes.”

 

“They did?” Edward searched his face with concern, “Oh. I can see where your lip split.”

 

Oswald raised a hand to the cut, “Jim’s pal has a nasty backhand.”

 

“I’m sorry,” Edward said, “And what else? You know, I’m pretty good at patching up wounds. Anatomy was an important subject for forensics. Well, that and… other reasons. I don’t see any prominent new injuries, but I know firsthand how easy it is for the well-trained to hide wounds. Was it your gums? Your back? You still have all your fingernails…”

 

Oswald looked increasingly uncomfortable, fidgeting on the spot, “Alright, so perhaps  _ torture _ was a strong word. They just roughed me up a bit. But the point still stands – if I was just in this for myself, I would’ve sold you out earlier.”

 

“I know,” Edward assured him, “I heard.”

 

“Good.”

 

“Yeah, I’ve always been good at eavesdropping,” he said.

 

“What?” Oswald frowned.

 

“I mean, you were  _ real _ quiet when you said, ‘Grab Nygma, they want him, not me,’ but it’s one of my specialties.”

 

“Ed –”

 

“I thought we were  _ getting _ somewhere, Oswald,” he couldn’t help his voice from growing louder, the pent up hurt finally finding its way out, “You  _ said _ if you were going to betray me, you’d do it to my face, and then not ten minutes later… Where does it stop for you, Oswald? When is it  _ ever _ going to be too far for you?”

 

“Ed, no, you don’t understand,” Oswald sounded frantic now, and Edward sneered, “What? Don’t have an excuse all prepared for me this time?”

 

“Ed, I’m sorry, I wasn’t betraying you,” Oswald began, “I thought they were outgunned. And even if that had failed, I would’ve rescued you. It was the better decision, giving you up to save myself so I could save you. If they’d killed me, who would’ve been in your corner?”

 

“You know, there was a time when you were willing to sacrifice yourself to save me, even though you believed I had tried to kill you.”

 

“Yeah,” Oswald nodded, “And then you shot me!”

 

“Because I was afraid of you!”

 

“You – what?” clearly that had thrown Oswald off-guard.

 

“You betrayed me for personal gain, but you loved me, and – and I – it was too – you reminded me of them, and I got scared. I regretted it so much afterwards…”

 

“Yet you still tried to kill me when I returned.”

 

“Yeah,” Edward stared at him, “Because you kept trying to kill  _ me _ .”

 

“How can I believe  _ any _ of that?”

 

“After everything you did to me,” Edward spoke slowly, anger and hurt simmering beneath each word, “After going behind my back and killing my girlfriend because  _ you _ couldn’t stand to see me with someone else even though you’d never even told me how you felt, after freezing me because  _ you _ wanted to keep me around for yourself, after  _ everything _ , I was willing to  _ die _ for you, Oswald.”

  
“And I sacrificed my chance at revenge to save you from that!”

 

“I know. I know,” Edward sighed, “And then you tried to betray me so I betrayed you but then you saved me and I thought,  _ I thought we were getting somewhere _ . I thought we might be friends again. And then you went and tried to betray me again.  _ Why? _ ”

 

“I told you, it was the best decision. I didn’t  _ want _ to…”

 

“You expect me to believe that?”

 

“Ed, I may have hurt you on many occasions, but you’ve hurt me, too. I’m willing to forgive all that. I’ve done so many good things for you too, and I would appreciate it if you would recognize that.”

 

Edward gaped at him, “You’re serious? Name one thing you did for me that didn’t benefit you as well.”

 

“I – what are you talking about?”

 

“You got me out of Arkham and gave me a house and a job, but it just so happened that that job was one you needed filled, and you just got the smartest man in Gotham to fill it. You  _ used me _ , Oswald. You gave me something good and expected something in return.”

 

“Like you’ve ever done something for me without expecting anything.”

 

“I gave back the election money with a conviction that there was at least a fifty percent chance I’d die before you won. I did not do it to gain a promotion. Then I set the stage for the Red Hood gang, nearly died, all to solidify your position as mayor. And what did I get in return besides a bruised neck? I saved Martin for you! A boy who meant nothing to me, just because you asked me to. I got tortured for you, nearly died for you, all to give you your chance at revenge against someone who wasn’t affecting  _ my _ life. I wasn’t even  _ looking _ for an ‘opportune moment’ to give you up, because I had no intention on doing so.”

 

“Alright, fine. What about when I saved your life, then?”

 

“What about it?”

 

“I didn’t get anything in return for that. Either time,” Oswald smirked, like he’d won something. 

 

“No,” Edward shook his head, “And it bothers you. You think you  _ deserve  _ something in return for it, and that if I don’t deliver, it gives you the right to do something nasty to me. As if my refusal to be your friend or your lover or whatever position you have in mind for me is cause for revenge.”

 

“Well, yeah,” Oswald stared at him, “That’s how it works. If I do something positive and get nothing in return, that’s disrespect. And disrespect has consequences. You  _ owe _ me, Ed.”

 

“I don’t  _ owe you _ ,” Edward spat. He didn’t remember when he stood up, but he was backing away from Oswald now, “Don’t you get it? This isn’t a  _ transaction _ . I’m a human being, not a business deal! You don’t – you don’t  _ earn _ the right to hurt me or betray me, just because you were nice, and I didn’t kneel at your feet!” 

 

He was breathing heavily now, mind straying to the dark memories he kept locked away for a reason. He was mumbling, more to himself than Oswald, “It took me years and years to figure that out, and you  _ won’t _ undo all that progress. You  _ won’t _ .”

 

“Figure what out?” Oswald asked.

 

“That I’m worth something, just as me. That people don’t just get to hurt me because they want to. That I have a right to decide what  _ I _ want, independent of what other people have done or claim to have done for me. I’ve done this whole thing before – the  _ owing  _ thing. The cycle of getting a demand, then either getting a pat on the head or a punishment depending on the mood of whomever. Feeling like I have no choice, because they keep reminding me of the debt I owe them. I’ve been there, and I refuse to go back. Not for you, not for anyone.”

 

“Ed, I’m so sorry. I had no idea…,” Oswald reached out a hand, only for Edward to flinch away, “That was never my intention.”

 

Oswald looked so contrite, and Edward desperately wanted to believe him, but if he did, he’d let down his guard and risk doing what he’d just sworn he wouldn’t. Instead, he shook his head, “That’s not good enough, Oswald. I’m going to go, now.”

 

“But – but what about the chip? How will you be able to stop yourself from being used as a puppet without me?”

 

“I may not have any friends, either, but I’m not alone,” Edward told him, “I have people other than you I can turn to for help.”

 

“Ed…” Oswald sounded forlorn, “Ed, what do you want from me? I love you. I really do. But it seems like everything I do makes you hate me.”

 

Ed swallowed hard, “I loved you for so long, Oswald. I can admit that now. I used to think the world of you. You  _ were _ everything I want. And then you hurt me without a second thought, because that’s what it’s always been about for you. Even now. You don’t want to know what I want. You want to know what you can do to make me want  _ you _ . You want to know how to get what  _ you _ want.”

 

He was standing in the doorway by now, and he paused there, “I wish I could believe you, Oswald. I really do. If you actually mean it, that you want to fix things between us, if you really want to know what I want from you, it’s this: Promising to betray me to my face if you ever were to is not good enough. Come talk to me when you’ve decided you’re never going to betray me for personal gain again.”

 

“Ed,” Oswald called after him as he began to walk away. He stopped again, waiting.

 

“Ed, you said you loved me once. When you say we could fix things, do you mean we could be friends again, or do you mean more?”

 

“If you really cared, you wouldn’t ask,” Edward replied without turning around, “But maybe if you make that promise and keep it long enough to regain my trust… maybe more. I’ll be waiting.”

 

With that, he made his way out of the former City Hall, trying to decide his best option for help with the chip in his head. Tank was loyal, but he didn’t have the right expertise. Barbara had the resources, but she probably hated his guts. Lucius could do it, but he was in the heart of the territory that was out for Edward’s blood… Still, it was nice, knowing there were people out there for him. 

 

He glanced back at the building where he’d left Oswald to turn over some new thoughts, and his heart ached for a simpler time when he knew exactly who to turn to in times of crisis. But he was resolute, and his outburst about self-worth had reminded him that there was more to live for than just getting revenge on people. He had fought tooth and nail to learn how to value himself and by George, he was going to do it.

 

No, he wouldn’t go back to Oswald unless he was sure the other man wouldn’t take advantage of him again. He just hoped that day would come.

~ ~ ~

Oswald hadn’t moved from his position since Edward had left. His mind was deep in debate over the encounter. On the one hand, he wanted Edward, and he would do what it took to win him back. On the other hand, it was in his nature to put himself above everyone else, and he had no intentions of changing. On the other hand, Edward’s points made sense, no matter how much he hated it. On the other hand, he had never bothered to care about other people beyond their relationship to him. Did Edward matter to him beyond the fact that Edward belonged to him? 

 

Yes, he decided. Yes, he cared about Edward as more than a possession. But at the same time, he wasn’t sure he could make the promise Edward requested and keep it. 

 

He finally moved, going to a window to look out over the ruin of Gotham. Somewhere out there, Edward Nygma was running around, probably plotting something. 

 

And maybe – someday – Oswald would be able to have the privilege of plotting alongside him once again. Maybe, eventually, he would be the man that Edward both needed and wanted. Maybe they could have a future after all.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my take on Ed & Oswald's current situation (and it's probably a bit salty). It's also probably not the most popular take, but I frankly don't care. Like I said, I was excited to see them interact again, but I'm honestly annoyed at Oswald for betraying Ed again, even if it wasn't as grand a betrayal as their past ones have been. I also haven't seen almost anyone talking about it, and idk if that's bc they missed it or bc they're ignoring it or something else, so I figured I'd make a short fic about it & see what happens.
> 
> Part of me is still in love with their dynamic, but the further this show has been going, the less I think their getting together would actually be good for Ed. I gave this a hopeful ending because I do hope they can reach a point where they'd actually be good for each other again, but right now, I really don't think they are.
> 
> Anyways, I love hearing from my readers, so as always, feel free to comment!


End file.
